At the end of May, I wrote a short post that mentioned we were receiving visitors from the Southern United States who are not exactly what you would call tolerant towards any sort of deviation from their norm. To keep the peace within the family, I decided not to wear skirts or heels around them for the duration of their nearly three-week visit, and I have to say, it has been difficult.
As you may be able to tell from the fact that I started this blog, I am really passionate about wearing gender-non-conforming clothes. I love the way they make me feel since I feel so much more like myself than when wearing jeans. That has made these past weeks tough, but at the same time, it gives me a fresh opportunity to appreciate and enjoy putting on a skirt again. When you wear them every day, you get used to them, and putting on a skirt simply becomes part of your normal routine. As such, the distance is sometimes nice to have.
While I didn’t wear any skirts when they were present, I did take the opportunity to wear a gray skirt and heeled sandals while they were off traveling for a couple of days (see the photos below). The first time putting them on in weeks felt like coming home after a long time away.
A Surprise
Something surprising did happen, however. Among the visitors was my cousin’s seventeen-year-old daughter. We had plenty of opportunity to talk about all sorts of things because she was the only one who was genuinely interested in history and culture. As such, I took her to see castles, palaces, Roman ruins, and museums. The others went to see some of them, but were much less interested in the actual history. I am a huge history nerd, so I relished the opportunity to show and tell her everything I know.
At some point, we got to talking about her starting university this coming fall and one of the things she mentioned she was looking forward to was more diversity. She said she was bored in the small town she had grown up in and with the fact that everyone acts and thinks the same way. It turns out that she has actually had a lot of trouble making friends because she tends to have much more liberal views in a deeply conservative town. She is also the first one in her branch of the family to go to a university. Most of them barely made it through high school or ended up with GEDs, so education clearly isn’t a priority for that part of my extended family.
While we were visiting the Alte Pinakothek art museum in Munich, we saw two men in skirts. One was wearing a blue denim maxi skirt with red and black flannel patches that looked rather punk and the other was wearing a black pleated midi skirt that was somewhat reminiscent of what we’ve been seeing on runways. We saw them wandering around at different times and they didn’t appear to be together or even aware of each other. These men wearing skirts didn’t escape her notice.
After seeing the second one in the black pleated skirt, she asked if I had seen them. I confirmed that I had and her next question was whether that was normal in Germany. I replied honestly and told her it was not mainstream, but that I’ve seen more and more men wear them over the past couple of years. I also told her I even know some men who wear skirts here and that I also have some skirts at home that I wear.
Needless to say, she was surprised. Her surprise only lasted for a fleeting moment, though, before she got excited and said that she wanted to see me wear one. She then asked me about the details: how many I have, what styles I wear, etc. I answered her questions and ended up showing her some of the pictures I’ve posted of myself wearing them. She now follows me on Instagram.
A couple of days later, when we were back at home, she stayed home with me and my wife while the others went out for the afternoon. I used that opportunity to show her my skirts and even model a couple of them for her. She got excited about it and said that she hopes there will be men who wear skirts at her university. I told her it’s unfortunately unlikely since she is going to university in a deep red, southern state. She seemed disappointed, so I told her she should start spreading the idea amongst any boys she might meet there. She agreed that she should.
The skirt-wearing didn’t last long, unfortunately, as we all agreed that it would be best if her parents didn’t see me wearing them or know about it at all. So, back into the closet they went.
Conclusion
It’s really sad that some people are so closed-minded that they cannot accept other people deviating from what they consider normal. It is maliciously controlling, willfully ignorant, and hopelessly limiting. The worst part about it is that they don’t understand or even care to know about what they are missing out on.
Fortunately, there are little beacons of hope that pop up every once in a while in the fog of bigotry. I would consider my cousin’s daughter one of them. She is bright, open-minded, intellectual and interested in anything that isn’t what her parents would consider normal. Of course, it might also just be teenage rebellion, but given how much culture and history she greedily absorbed while she was here and her genuine excitement about me and the other men wearing skirts, I think it runs deeper than that.
Most importantly, she now knows she has an ally in the family whom she can talk to about her nerdy interests as well as about topics that are not part of what her parents would consider normal. Hopefully, as a result, she feels less alone with her interests.
Thanks Alex, that’s a great post. My first thought reading it was ‘why don’t you just wear a skirt in front of your extended family and see what happens… what are they going to do, even if they disapprove?’. But then I remembered that I have the exact same thoughts! Many friends have seen me skirted now, and barely a comment. But my extended (and rather conservative) family… I’d rather not go there, not rock that particular boat.
Yes, Alex, you fielded her initial question well tho’ I’d have been more circumspect about admitting that I wear skirts before ascertaining that her curiosity wasn’t merely hostile. However, there’s hope for the future with her; let’s hope that she can act as an ‘inflencer’.
One question about the pic: is that 2 actual people or was it AI-generated? If real then I find it strange that a man would choose to display himself in a pink, pleated, floaty, translucent midi skirt, which, let’s face it, is definitely towards the feminine end of the skirt spectrum. Certainly not my style as I’d feel far too self-conscious (though I do have a dusky pink skirt in quite a different style that I’m particularly fond of).
Well played, Sir, well played. Young and curious people trapped in unimaginative environments are hostages and they need allies. You have become such, and without any offense to the others. In this way, bit by bit, her world, and ours opens up to a fuller expression of possibilities.
So this afternoon I was walking through the lady’s shoes area of a clothing store. I spotted a pair of ballet pumps. I tried them on for the hell of it. They felt so comfortable and light to walk in. So, I bought them and haven’t taken them off all day. Not quite heels. But they suit my skirt and tights. A little feminine. But that’s OK. I’m still not crossdressing.
Great, you did a really clever work with that girl and I say clever, not “hard” for a reason, given mindset of many conservative people is about working hard, which usually is sufficient for today, but not for tomorrow. Anyway, teenagers like she are in good and bad position at the same time.
Good, because they are aware of a dull and bland people around them so that you don’t want to be one of them as an adult – motivates to take on the alternative path, in this case – educational one.
Bad, because you’re on your own and you need to have dedication and strength to keep going. Others might support you but potentially not in the same way you want it, suggesting to go back and switch to something easier or known to them.
Let’s hope she will not change her mindset and still be curious about the world around, but also trying to not get pulled down by things we don’t like in there
Well, assuming the pic is genuine and not AI-generated then I’m intrigued by the poses of the two youngsters and just what they might be saying to each other. Why is she stooping to talk when she appears to be shorter anyway and why is he plucking at the skirt, very feminine in itself, in that feminine way? (Looks like he’s wearing pants underneath.) Part of a film set?
Your visitor has been exposed to males wearing skirts when she was in Junior High. The disadvantage was the American culture ruined it because of their attitude. I am glad you shared this with her.
Ina world still at war despite 2025, ripe with political strife that still doesn’t see everyone as equally worthy, my hope for a brighter future still lies in the promise of the youth. For in them I see suck tolerance that I know we’re in good hands
I also see much more tolerance in the youth, although I must say that my elderly neighbors have also been entirely accepting of what I wear. Either they haven’t said anything or have complimented me, but in both cases, they’ve always been friendly and respectful.
As a Beskirted Man in rural Western Colorado (very red) this article brings me hope. While my location may not be the Deep South, the Cowboys, Miners, and Roughnecks have their opinions. I have been to a hand full southern cities that are fairly liberal Asheville NC, Athens GA, Fayetteville WV are a few that come to mind. I’d even go out in Huntsville AL, and Knoxville & Pigeon Forge TN not to mention lots of places in FL. The nice thing about universities everywhere is the collection of young minds with plasticity intact. There’s also hippies and the river community, rafters and kayakers are also pretty open minded. Suffice to say great article, keep up the strong work.