To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Well. Long story, well written (and illustrated). Very thoughtful and detailed. Good for him.
As you know from my previous comments, I’m a bit surprised by all the trepidation, but it seems to be real and common. I often told my kids that besides caring for them (love, food, shelter, education, etc.), one of my goals as their dad was to embarass them enough as kids that they would never feel inhibited as adults. That worked, though in different ways for each of them.
I have always chosen my clothing to suit both situation/audience (as noted in this post) and also to suit my mood and personal style. That style has always been open and curious, with a special emphasis on color and texture, as well as cut. I love a fine suit as much as a flowy satin skirt and my closet is filled with all kinds of clothing items.
I guess I was just a teeny bit disappointed to find that the author felt the need to re-identify sexually (or by gender category) just to enjoy his preferred clothing style. If I could do one thing in this arena, it would be to make more of men feel OK, as men, to wear whatever we like. I do. We all can.
It was long, but definitely worth the read. I thought it was very interesting and as you said, well written.
I think a lot of the trepidation comes from people who are very insecure about it and probably even in general. They have probably had bad experiences with deviating from the norm even if it is in different areas of life than fashion or gender. It could also be age. When I was younger, I was a whole lot more less confident about deviating than I am now. Once I reached my 30s, I really just didn’t care anymore.
You also raise a good point about how kids are brought up. If parents constantly make sure they are conforming to the norms to avoid embarrassment, then they’re going to be a lot more sensitive to it and less confidence. Embarrassing them and thereby showing them that it’s ok to be different it is a great way to show them that it’s perfectly fine to be different.
Indeed a long article about author’s history and determination – the ‘safety’ chart looks sensible, although gonna vary a bit as in my case, parent’s house is my house at the same time. I would definitely put “church” in the red quarter but as on the West it’s quite passe, no surprise it’s absent.
I have to admit that I don’t really get all the genderfluid concepts and stuff like that, but on the other side he started a couple of years earlier, so as time passes it seems like there’s more space to freely be ‘beskirted’ boy and maybe going for skirts triggers questions about own gender, oppressive things, something that I didn’t consider when going for first try on a skirt at home / outside. I simply know that I’ll never be able to match ‘manly men’ expectations anyway, no matter whether defined by average female or average male (as such definition can be also extremely different).
This 1715 vs. 1948 is brilliant though.
The “safety” chart is definitely an interesting concept that will vary from person to person. Some people will have it worse than others unfortunately, but it’s definitely not a bad idea to put together such a chart if you live in an area or with people where it might not be entirely safe to wear a skirt as a man.
I think the past couple of years has definitely seen a rise in men wearing skirts. In the past couple of years, I have seen more men in skirts (not many, but some) here in Germany than I ever did before (absolutely never). Kilts also seem to be getting much more popular.
and BTW, Alex, thanks for this site, your blog, and all you do. I really enjoy checking in with you (and Julia) here.
You’re very welcome! I thoroughly enjoy doing it