AI-generated image of a man wearing a maid dress and cat ears while at a computer
June 16, 2024

As some of you will already have read in a post I made on Instagram this week, there was a bit of an incident at work this past week. One of the young developers on our team who considers himself a femboy had a traumatic experience when his dad caught him in a dress.

Since I have talked to him personally before about it and other gender-non-conforming topics, he confided in me about what happened. With his permission, I posted the story on Instagram and am now doing so here as well. I think it’s important that these scenarios get documented since they generally happen strictly behind closed doors, but serve as great examples of why men struggle with breaking out of the gendered box they are forced into.

I won’t rehash what I wrote on Instagram here. Instead, I’ve just copied what I wrote:

Going full femboy today. I don’t do this much anymore, but today is to show solidarity with a young developer (22) on my team at work. He is going through a really hard time after getting “caught” by his dad in full femboy gear last weekend. His dad had a key to his apartment and walked in unannounced while he was dressed up in a maid dress with knee socks, cat ears, heels, makeup, wig, etc. He started yelling at him using lots of expletives and essentially disowned him. He then threw the apartment keys at him and stormed out of the apartment. Since then, he hasn’t heard from any of his family and none of them are returning his calls.

Yesterday, he broke down crying in one of our online meetings. He’s always been open about being a femboy to us at work and we’ve always been supportive of it. Since I’ve talked to him one-on-one a few times about it as well as my own experiences wearing gnc clothing, I called him directly after our meeting and he let everything out. He had already packed all of his femboy gear in garbage bags and was going to throw it all away. I was able to convince him to just put it away for now rather than throw it away because he’d regret it if he threw it away. I’m going to call him again later today and talk to him again because I think he needs it right now. Hopefully, I’ll at least get a smile when I show him my own outfit.

I find it absolutely disgusting that this happens. It makes me so furious that I feel sick to my stomach. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve worked with and yet he is being treated like a flaming pile of dog poo just for daring to deviate from the cliché masculine image.

My post about it on Instagram

My reaction was to dress up in some old femboy clothes I had lying around from my experimental phase and show him as much support as possible. He got very emotional when we had a video call and I showed him what I was wearing and explained why. You can see my outfit in the pictures below.

Unfortunately, there is no happy ending I can share with you. His difficult situation hasn’t changed in the least and he is still struggling with it. I’ve continued to show support and talk to him every day because I feel like he needs an ally right now who understands his desire to dress differently and his refusal to be kept in a box.

Here are a few photos of the outfit I wore to show my support:

Note: The AI-generated image at the top of the post doesn’t look anything like my colleague.

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About the Author

Alex Seifert
In many ways, Alex is a typical man who just so happens to enjoy wearing skirts and high heels. He is married to a wonderful, supportive wife and has a young son. His hobbies include reading, programming, metal music, playing instruments, video games, cars, hiking and a number of other smaller things.

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