Profiles of Beskirted Men: Pythos

Today, we welcome Pythos from West Coast, California to Profiles of Beskirted Men!

What is your name?

Pythos

Where are you from?

West Coast, Alameda, California

Which types of gender non-conforming clothing do you enjoy wearing?

I see gender limits on styles and clothing as silly. I don’t wear bras, or other such items. Men don’t usually have the sort of breasts that women do, and I do not attempt to have the build of a woman, as I am not trying to pass as one. I am male. Even if appearing like a flat chested Morticia Addams, I identify as nothing other than male.

When did you start wearing gender non-conforming clothing?

My first time in a skirt like garment was around the age of 5. It was a slip my mom had left on the floor.

How did you start wearing gender non-conforming clothing and why?

Long story. The slip was the first memory of wearing such clothing, and it did not result in pleasant experiences. My mother saw me, took me through to my dad in the kitchen, and they both proceeded to insult me, and use Homophobic slurs, though at the time I didn’t know they were such. All this experience did was lead me to learn to “run under the radar”. When my parents were away I was in the slip, tennis skirts, dresses, what ever I could find. I first started openly wearing gender non conforming styles when I discovered and fell in love with leggings, which at the time were marketed for both men and women for sport. But I saw no reason guys could not do as girls did, and wear them as fashion…and so I sported long dress shirts tied around the waist with a belt, which made a tunic like look, and big boots. I also wore the stereotypical holy sweater in a similar style. It was around that time I discovered the Punk/Goth scene and where androgyny was very much accepted, and well, it was in this scene my more style creative wings spread. My style is a very “feminine” androgynous style.

What is your motivation now for putting on gender non-conforming clothing?

I like it. I prefer it to me “normal” look. But also to inspire others like me to toss aside sexist rules limits and stereotypes and wear (within reason) those styles they always would have liked to wear. I hope to also have kids struggling with these issues and think “if he can do that, then so can I”.

What do gender non-conforming clothes mean to you?

Freedom of expression. That’s it really. My styles don’t change my identity, or sexual orientation. For me it is an avenue of expression that in my younger years were denied me, along with most other males of my generation. I think it is these restrictions that have been partly responsible for much of the gender issues we face today.

How often do you wear gender non-conforming clothing?

More often than not. Though before the lock downs, I was much more prolific, but after them both my GF and I have become homebodies. I will say it has been years since I wore slacks, or jeans. I am either in leggings, skirts, catsuits, or dresses.

Do you go out in public dressed in gender non-conforming clothes? If not, why not? If so, how often and where do you go? Are there any places you wouldn’t go?

As stated my GF and I went out very often, and I was fully decked out in androgynous/fem, styles. However, the hostility toward LGBT related people seemed to increase in my area and that along with the expense of going out and doing things, along with weird work hours have lead to a massive reduction in getting out and about. Though the last few times we have gone out, I have been in skirt and hose, at least.

Do you find it hard to go out in public in gender non-conforming clothes?

Post lock downs? Yes. I did recently attended a Goth event at the USS Hornet, where I was NOT the only male in the crowd in a long flowing skirt or other non traditional male styles. Thing is, these days it is hard to know if they were fellow gender non conforming males, or people that formerly identified as male.

What is your best and/or worst experience in gender non-conforming clothes?

hmm…honestly. The worst would be my mother insulting my styles and looks. She usually would fling homophobic slurs concerning my leggings, it is like the only wedge between me and her, which is really unfortunate. The best experience. At a magic shop with my GF, where I was sighted by a younger girl, who after a bit shyly came up to me, having heard me talk to my GF so there was no question I was male, and she rather bashfully said “excuse me.” and then said “You’re beautiful”. I thanked her kindly, after which she quite literally skipped out following her friend out the store. It was so cute.

Do your family or friends know about how you dress?

My mother knows of my leggings, and nothing else. She has proven she can not take anything else. My friends, Brother, sister in law, and niece, love my expression, and my niece knows of the full range. All my close friends know, and my fiancé not only knows but fully supports.

Are there people you don’t want to know about it?

Perhaps my boss. I don’t really hide. I openly wear a kilt, with different tights everyday for work at my aircraft shop. I find it so much more effective to not hide. I think hiding when it is not necessary (safety issues and such) does so much more harm than good.

Does your partner accept your clothing choices?

Not only accept, but fully support. She will occasionally buy me items, usually leggings, though when we go thrift shopping she will point out dresses or skirts she would think I could sport well. Both of my romantic relations started in the Goth Club and both women were attracted to my styles, and later learned they liked the man.

What is your favorite style?

I have all manner of styles, Sleek, Elegant, Ethereal, Whimsical. But my most enjoyed is definitely elegant styles. Long fishtail gowns, hose, heels, fancy makeup, and slightly styled hair. My go to though would be leggings or catsuits.

Where do you shop for your clothes?

Thrift stores, and Amazon. Swap meets as well.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

I am rather unusual in that I just see limits on expression like clothing and style being sex based as stupid. Pure and simple. I am a child of the 80s when punk, post punk, new romantic, and goth were growing in popularity. Boy George was a man that wore incredible makeup, David Bowie was the Goblin King, Prince sported the highest heels, and all these men were adored by the girls and women I knew. I think these limits have in so many ways fed the problems we face today, particularly with how boys were strictly limited while girls got much more freedom in style (but still limited sadly). To me, masculine style is dull, and overly practical. Skirts, dresses, leggings, all move with you, and not against you. Pants drag on your legs, while skirts for the most part slide gently and easily (dependent on the structure and material). “feminine” styles in many ways “celebrate” the wearer’s body, while male styles hide it. For a time it seemed things were moving toward a more gender free society, but after the lockdowns the number of people seemingly compelled to identify as another gender or sex, based on societal rules limits and stereotypes, sky rocketed. Many of those androgynous guys I knew in my goth club days have come out as non binary or trans. IN so many ways it (to me) looks like we are regressing back into strict gender norms, and this is actually really depressing to me, which may also be part of the reason I have curtailed going out. I truly do wish guys did not feel compelled to add breast forms or padding, and adopt a “feminine” persona (again, based on stereotypes), just so they can wear styles that they would like to wear or at least try. But that honestly seems the course we are back on.

I’m not giving up anytime soon, though there are days I truly do consider it. I’m 51 now, and my body is not as sleek as it once was.

Do you have any links you would like to share (i.e. social media profiles or websites)?

There is my instagram : https://www.instagram.com/pythosvon/

And my Youtube which is pretty inactive now https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi1Y2_ZuqUkJqgVK50jA2lA

Thank you for sharing, Pythos!

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